{barefoot run #blessed}

This morning I went for a run on the beach. I love that I live on the coast and have a 10min drive to the beach. I got there early so the breeze was still cool. It was overcast on the way there. However, the sun began to peak through the clouds as I made my way down the beach. Running on the beach is difficult but it was worth it as my bare feet hit the high-tide packed sand with an even rhythm, kicking up a little sand behind me and splashing through the waves as the tide periodically encroached upon my route. It was a peaceful morning to reflect on my week and relieve some of my stress, letting my worry and frustrations be washed out to sea with the tide as it washed in and out with the waves.

{30 days of being #blessed}

{miss jo jo #blessed}

No matter where I travel I am always blessed by some amazing people, and my transplant to NC has not been any different.

One of my blessings this week has been a coworker, Jo. I am thankful for this woman's presence in my life. For her caring heart, listening ears, encouraging talks and prayers. Her contagious laugh along with her heart of gold makes even the worst days have a little glimmer. And her sparkling blue eyes and smile make you feel at home.

I am grateful for her putting things back into prospective for me this week and for helping me take some time to relax this weekend.

I cannot forget to mention how thankful I am for her big loving hugs. I can't remember the last good hug I have had since leaving home. It is amazing how a good hug can make such a difference!

Thank you my dear Jo for being such a reminder of how blessed I am this week.

{30 days of being #blessed}

{a quick text down memory lane #blessed}

I love my Alaskan Mama, for so many reasons but this week she deserves a little shout out as one of my blessings.

With a 4 hour time difference it is difficult to stay in touch and find a good time to call the other person. However, that does not stop this wonderful Mama from sending quick texts every couple of days simply to ask "how are things going?" I love these, as they are reminders that you are cared for and thought of. This week was no different and I was reminded once again of how even at a distance I was thought of and missed. It was a quick text she sent about how she was thinking of one of our adventures we went on while I was in Alaska, a little less than a year ago.

It was one thing to know that even in the middle of her day I am was a thought that crossed her mind but it also allowed us to go down a short memory lane; bringing up memories and soaking in the emotions we shared. It allowed us to share that moment of time with one another and be together even if not physically.

I love this woman for numerous reasons and am blessed by her continual presence, love, support and encouragement in my life, even from such a far distance. It is a blessing to be thought of and I am thankful for the reminders every so often with her 'check ins'.

I love you, Mama Carol, always! xoxo

{30 days of being #blessed}

{Facetime #blessed}

I hate to admit that one of my blessing this week was technology but it is the truth. I love my iPhone and the ability to FaceTime with all of my loved ones back home. I love being able to spend time with 'my people' to ask them about their days and see their expressions as they tell me about all of their exciting adventures. FaceTime has been a blessing allowing me to be present from afar. I was able to FaceTime with a few of my favorite crazy kiddos this week, making faces with them, hearing about the first couple days of school and blowing kisses goodnight as they headed off to bed. It is the little moments like these that remind me how blessed I am to have such amazing people in my life and for the opportunity to stay connected with them in such a unique way- thank you technology and FaceTime!

{30 days of being #blessed}

{the bestest of friends #blessed}

Earlier this week I was having a downright 'bad' day. The kind when nothing seems to be going right. When all you want to do is hide or give up but that wouldn't solve anything. So, I called my best friend. Though she has a million of things on her own plate and is learning to be a resident herself in Missouri, going through her own transition she was there to listen as I cried on the other end of the phone. She has been a blessing over the last 6 years of my life and I cannot thank God enough for allowing us to become the bestest of friends. I am also thankful that even with being hundreds of miles apart we are able to be there for each other and still share life together- both the good and the bad.

"when you're the best of friends,

sharing all that you discover,

when these moments have past,

will this friendship last?

who can say?

oh I hope,

I hope it never ends,

'cause you're the best of friends!"

I love you, Emily Hanson and miss you like crazy. Thank you for being my blessing... ALWAYS!

{30 days of being #blessed}

{30 day #blessed challenge}

Lately I’ve been a bit stressed- to the point that I am losing hair like it is my second job; thank God I have a lot of it! I have been running ramped trying to get things done. Making “to-do” lists that end with ‘on to next list’ or that physically never seem to end- I have post-its everywhere with things to remember.

My life has become a “to-do” list with me making small check boxes to cross off.

I get up in the morning, check

Pack lunch, check

Go to work, check

Make my to do list, check 

Check my email (~800 times/day), check

Remember to smile, check.

check, check, check…

A couple months ago my ‘little sisters’ began making their own checklists on post-its just as their mom and I do. Their lists sounded much like what my life has become: wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, comb hair, brush teeth, shoes and backpacks, bus, etc. It motivated them to get ready for a while and we found it cute how much they felt the need to stick to their “list”, checking off as they went through their routine. But the problem is, if we live our lives as a list to be checked off, are we actually living it?       

More often than not, I’m simply checking off my list, going through my motions, getting from point A to point B. I’m living off of a post-it/notebook/planner, constantly check boxes. I’ve been bombarded by ‘lists’ and not truly living between the tasks.

With my stress level skyrocketing, and learning to juggle all of my new responsibilities I’ve decided I’m going to make a different kind of “to-do” list. The idea has been lingering for a while now. However, the other day I realized how much I need this new ‘checklist’. It was a usual crazy day and I was running into the breakroom to grab my lunch and inhale it in 10 minutes while doing at least 2 other things, of course, when one of the maintenance staff asked how my day was. I responded with ‘it’s been good, crazy though’. It was a short conversation; lasting roughly the 2.5 minutes while heating my lean cuisine I had packed for lunch that day- I was even too busy to cut up ingredients for a salad that morning. But what struck me as I left for my office was what she said to me as I walked out of the room- “I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayer, miss. It’ll all work out”. I didn’t divulge my frustrations, anxiety or worry on her. I simply said it was a crazy day.  But she told me exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. I walked away thinking “blessed”.

It has become the thing to do now, add hashtags (pound signs, number signs, whatever you’d prefer to classify them as) to just about everything. And I know there is some #100happydays or #100joyfulday challenge. But I’ve decided upon my own challenge. It is not going to be about happy days. It is going to be about finding the blessings in life. Because I believe that even in my chaos my day should begin and end with the hashtag ‘blessed’. It is about the coworker who gets you out of your office after 11.5 hours at work, the card in the mail from your best friend, or the FaceTime date with your family.

Too often I have tunnel vision on the one task at hand and I miss out on my life literally going on without me. But it is not always missing the big picture either. There are times when I am overwhelmed by the daunting dark cloud of everything on my “list” that I fail to see the little glimpse of light that breaks through. Blessings do not always come as big packages wrapped in flashy colored paper with bows and ribbon. Sometimes they are moments, a blink in time, an ordinary thing we take for granted.

So, I am starting a new mini series on my challenge to find the #blessed moments in my days. I gave it a 30-day period because small steps turn into large steps and hopefully become a constant. I honestly cannot guarantee a frequency of how often I will post due to time limits, but part of this challenge is for me to make the time and see the blessings in my days.

I challenge you to join me over the next 30 days to find your #blessed moments, people, things, adventures, reminders and so on.

May you always be #blessed, check.

{building blocks}

I’ll be honest, I have been trying to muster up something inspiring and thought worthy for quite some time now. However, every time I open up my “new” document to begin to put my thoughts into words I draw a blank or everything I type doesn’t seem to be what I want and I hit the delete key with quick fierce poundings of my finger. Listening to the clicks as letters and words disappear I let out a frustrated huff and puff and chalking it up to still needing time to process. Pushing the desire to connect and share my “remarkable” thoughts away until they resurface again, clinging to the hope that then I will be able to formulate something worthwhile.

So the other day while rummaging through all my stuff- I’d like to say sift, as that sounds purposeful and organized, however my actions were more of a rummage as I tore through my very unorganized piles- I came across a quote I had written down a while back. As I read the quote that nagging desire I sometimes feel when I know I need to take the time and reflect on my life, when I have something I truly want to put into words to give people an invitation to share with me, crept to the surface again. The quote defined for me what I had been toying with over the last couple of weeks.

It saturated the page in front of me as I read it, causing me to pause in the midst of my chaos. I had been talking to a friend of mine, who is going through a very similar transition in life, about our circumstances. About the unknowns in our futures and about the mixed emotions we feel as we take the leap of faith towards what lies ahead; knowing we are following our dreams while leaving so much of what defines us and our comforts behind. As I offered reassurance all would turn out even better than we could imagine, I still felt the tug of my heartstrings as I thought of leaving my own “home”.

As I have been falling short to formulate something worthy myself to paraphrase my thoughts I am sharing with you all this quote and the ways in which it has spoken to me, and brought peace to this ache, soothing my acutely tender heart.

“Home wasn’t a set house, or a single town on a map. It was where the people who loved you were, whenever you were together. Not a place but a moment, and then another; building on each other like bricks to create a solid shelter that you take with you for your entire life, wherever you may go.”
-Sarah Dessen

I have never been a person good at “goodbyes” or shutting the door of a chapter in life. I have been given an enormous gift of connection. And though I cherish my ability to love people and my heart that beats more for others around me then myself. It is times like now that my tender and malleable heart makes being brave and leaving so much more difficult.

Although this move makes me feel as though I am being sent out into the unknowns of life, exposed to the elements, all on my own in a completely knew environment. I know this is not true, because I have such a strong “home” that I carry with me everywhere I go.

Even after owning my own home I have learned that “home” for me has never been the physical four walls that protect me from the wind, rain and snow. Home for me has always been what is held within those four walls. It is the love that is shared between people, never a single place or address. My home will always be the people I love and moments I was able to share life with them.  Home is not something of my past, only for the present or what I hope to find in my future; it is all of them combined, as my home is always evolving and will continue to grow. And with each new addition I add to the building of my home, I create of with people, I find there is no limit to the size or capacity. I have a sturdy home that I take with me every step of every day.

God has blessed me with many things in my life but my people, my home, are things I cannot even begin to express my immense gratitude for. My building blocks are what define who I am and the person I desire to become. My home may not be the type you would like to buy with all the smooth even walls with exactly measured bricks. It is a mosaic of building blocks, of all different shapes, sizes and colors that come together to create one of the most beautiful, hopeful, inspiring loving homes I could ever imagine. It is filled with love and purpose. It is is not confined to a property of land that I have to pay taxes on or a one particular builder, my home has many contractors, from all walks of life and areas of the world, and no defining limits on space. And the best part of my home is the ability of it to go with me wherever the journey of life takes me.

So, as my soft heart aches with the preparations of leaving and as tears well up in the corner of my eyes at the thoughts of “goodbyes” I turn to this quote and find rest and assurance in the perspective of the people I love going with me, as the foundational building blocks of my home, in the next steps of life. I may be physically leaving home for a short while, growing up, following my dreams and taking on my next adventure, but my true home is and always will be with me, traveling the path of life along side me.

Thank you to all of you who have been and are the building blocks to my home and foundational support. I am so EXTREMELY blessed to be able to share life with each and everyone one of you and loved each of you with such an abundant amount of affection. I have cherished each moment we have spent together and am immensely grateful for the ways you sharing in my home with me has helped shape me into the young women I am today; and has assisted me in growing into the practitioner I dream of becoming. It is because of you, my home, and my people, that I am able to follow my dreams and make the path less difficult. For without each an everyone of you, my home would not be complete, and therefore my life. Each one of you has a distinct space in my heart, in my home, which allows my life to be a exuberant and unique, whole and purposeful. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Many love and blessings, C.