{love is all you need}

Love.

It is an emotion each of us knows and learns. One that is always part of the list of feelings: happy, sad, angry, scared, excited, and love. It is universal.

But what does love really look like? What does it mean to love someone? What does it look like to purposely love? Do we love like we are supposed to?

These among other questions have been whirling around in my head for the last couple weeks, well really years. These questions are truly what prompted the start of my blog as I journey through life learning what love looks like and to answer these questions. But the questions started boiling over again on the front burner recently like a teakettle screaming for attention.

I had been struggling with my emotions over the recent brothel experience. Battling what I know and feel versus what is real and tangible. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round with the horses going up and down between emotions of sadness and anger, only circling around and around. I was getting nowhere and the feeling sickened me.

After a long deep conversation with my best friend we both came down to one simple answer: love. In the midst of our questions on how to feel about prostitution, and homosexuality among so many other issues, we quickly realized that our emotions towards these things were not the answer. How we feel, our reactions are powerful and meaningful; they are not a waste. They are what empower us and move us to make changes, to stand for things. But our emotions are only our fuel, and if we do not have a destination they are wasted. We debated and theologically thought about how we are supposed to respond to these issues. And as cheesy as it sounds we came to the question of “what would Jesus do”… good ole W.W.J.D.

The answer is clear, strong, powerful, and tender. Jesus would love. plain & simple. We both fell silent for a minute after countless minutes of circling voices, questioning and debating, at the profoundness of our answer. Love.

One of the most powerful gifts we have as human beings is to love. We are called to love. It is our purpose to give and receive it. However, we easily undermine its strength; we mindlessly classify it as one of our feelings or emotions not as an action that can change lives and stories.

I am the type of person who loves love. I receive fulfillment and thrive off of the ability to give to others the unconditional love that I have received. I say, “I love you” probably more than necessary, more than people most likely believe could be true. “I love” things with a passion, sometimes borderline obsession. And I say “I love. (insert object/person/place or thing)” like I am placing it into a category. But I truly do love. I understand that love is malleable and gentle, passionate and overwhelming. I love to love people. But do I really love at all times? Is my love enough? What would my love be like if I loved with a purpose? What could my love do?

To love is not always easy. Loving is such a deeper emotion than what we see on the surface. It is more than what we view advertised on Valentine’s day, more than the puppy dog love of our first crushes and more than the head-over-heels in love that we see in movies and dream about in our “happily-ever-afters”.  Love can be difficult, hard, challenging and down right exhausting. To love is to be vulnerable, broken, and courageous. It is knowing that Jesus came to earth out of love, loving exactly those people who were broken, courageous and vulnerable, and showed us the ultimate gift of love by dying for our sins.

This is what love looks like. It is not about the flowers or gift you buy someone. It is about giving of what you have been given. It is about empowering people. Love has a purpose. But to be able to love as we have been called to, we must first realize that we are worthy of love. We cannot give the kind of love that moves mountains, the kind of love that impacts peoples’ lives, unless we allow it to do the same in our lives. Letting yourself be loved, to feel love, and accept it can be harder than giving it. Opening yourself up to truly experience love is frightening and fulfilling all at the same time. Something within us unravels, changes. Love moves in us, rearranging us to become as we were created to be.

As humans, love is something we thrive for and avoid. It is something we all desire and need. Yet we are afraid of exposing ourselves, of allowing ourselves to become attached, or eventually hurt. Love is something we know but do not fully understand; it is something we partake in, not always experiencing it. We love out of habit, based on convenience and sometimes not at all.

We live in a world of generic love, written all over the place. We say “I love you” in all different languages and tongues. We express love on very superficial grounds. But what if we understood and accepted what it meant to truly be loved? What if we loved others unconditionally and with a purpose?

So, maybe the questions are not what my political or religious stance should be on certain subjects, or about how I should feel about something? Maybe the question is how do I love with a purpose? How can I love more? Or where is love in those situations? Because I do not have the answers to what is the right frame of reference, opinion or feeling? I only need the answer on what I am to do: LOVE.