Wednesday, May 30, 2012

{lives create stories & stories come from living.}

i promised stories from haiti. so here are my stories. i am not going to tell you all about exactly what i did because i honestly could write my little heart out and ramble on and i do not want to bore you all. plus the most important things i want to tell you about are the people i met. looking back on the trip it wasn't the things i did or the events that occurred that made my time in haiti amazing, it was the people i encountered in those situations.

so here are my stories, or rather their stories. that collectively represent my time spent in a country that has forever impacted my life.

1. {Bob and Gretchen DeVoe}

[Gretchen with the pharmacy girls at the clinic]

this is where it all began. without these two incredible people my trip wouldn't not have happened. Bob and Gretchen are the founders of Lifeline Christian Mission, which is the organization i worked with. it is through these two individuals saying yes to the call Jesus put on their lives that Lifeline is able to serve the people of Haiti, as well as Honduras, Cuba and many more areas. their story is amazing. but as they would say, it is not their story it is God's story. they are an example of the power of prayer and how God's glory shines when we align our lives with his plan and timing. the courage these two have and the servant hearts that manifest their bodies radiates the goodness of God. the work they have done and the way they love the Lord and his people touched my life. ordinary people doing extraordinary things by simply having the courage to say "yes" time and time again. i can only pray that someday i can have the strength they had and still have. the work they continue to do encourages me knowing that when we are in tune with the plans God has for our lives He blesses in abundance.

2. {Bertie (Zwazo- creole for bird) }
[Bertie and I]

oh where to begin. this woman became what i call my Haitian grand-mere. she is Gretchen's sister. and the heart this woman has is enormous. i truly believe the connection i had with Bertie was all because of Jesus. i truly believe the love i had for the Haitian people was even stronger because of the way Bertie and Gretchen loved them. Bertie is a spunky old women with a heart of gold. still at her age of 75, she is down in Haiti for a month at a time serving the Lord and loving His people as her own. Even back in the US she works in the Lifeline wearhouse packaging containers to be sent down to help with the outreaches Lifeline does for new expectant mothers, clothing for children that need it, infant nutrition services, etc. i admire this woman's desire to serve the Lord. the way she doesn't allow her age, pain etc stop her from doing His work amazes me. Bertie was always putting others first, caring for their needs, and praying her heart out for God's people. i loved watching her worship the Lord not only in church services but in every aspect of her life. i am a blessed woman to have such a beautiful haitian grand-mere on the inside and out.

3. {"the girls"}
["the girls": Leslie, me, Maureen, Erin, Brittany]

these are my "girls", the pharmacy quintuplets. i am blessed beyond belief to be able to share the experiences i had in Haiti with these lovely ladies. we came to Haiti to serve the Lord together and love His people and we left having done just that. but we also left having loved one another. the way these women love the Lord and their desire to serve Him is inspirational. i pray they will continue to do the work of the Lord throughout their lives. i know they have shown me how the Lord can use our gifts as pharmacy students and in the future as pharmacists to further His kingdom.

4. {infant}

 the story of the infant in the clinic. this poor child broke me heart. this infant was so malnourished. she was dying before my eyes. there was nothing to her but skin and bones. her skin was like leather and just draped over her bones. her skull was sunken in from dehydration. and the odor she eminated was beyond explainable. her eyes were all crusted over and she would open her mouth like she was attempting to cry but no sound would escape as though it required too much energy to make a sound. this little girl broke my heart.
she made me aware of the needs of the children here in haiti. for the education parents need about how to nourish their children, even the simple thing of breastfeeding the child right away and not waiting. but as easy as it sounds to tell parents they need to feed their children it brings up a whole other issue of so many of them not being able to physically provide these necessities for their children. i can't tell you the countless children i saw that needed more food, iron, protein etc. in this baby's case she was given a bottle and formula, and by the grace of God she had a strong suckle and took the bottle. she has the chance to survive if her mother is able to continue to provide for her. all i can do now is pray. for her and the many children that they will live strong healthy lives and the Lord will protect them and provide for them.

5. {mountain children}


one of my favorite times in haiti was when we climbed the mountain. it was breathtakingly beautiful. with the mountains to one side and the ocean to the other. but it isn't the gorgeous view that i want to tell you about, i want to tell you about the people i shared my time on the mountain with. i want to tell you about the children of the mountain.
while walking up the mountain we passed many houses scattered here and there. many of them had small children running around them, laughing playing or doing "chores". as the children spotted us they would shyly wave or bravely make their way to the path to touch our hands. as our walk continued we were joined by many children who would come up next to us and take hold of our hand and walk with us on our journey. they would smile up at us content to be in our presence. but the part that broke my heart was the littleness these children had. about 90% of them did not have shoes and the path we walked on was a combination of gravel and large sharp rocks. many of them also did not have clothing, running free, not even ashamed of their nakedness. at first it was all i could do not to swing a child between myself and a teammate just to watch him smile and see the joy on his face. but my heart was not always this joyful. i found myself getting annoyed that these children wanted to hold my hand at all times. that they were dirty. i was being selfish. conceited. all these children needed was love. yes, they needed more than that, they needed clothing, food and shelter but their deepest desire that day on the mountain was to be loved. to have someone hold their hand, give them attention and show them love! if for those brief moments i would have stepped out of myself and looked at the children as the children of God and not as the dirty naked mountain children, my perception of the situation would have been very different by the end. i may not have gotten frustrated with them and instead been able to give the love i am capable of giving. because in reality we are all naked and it is Jesus that clothes us with His righteousness. at the end of that day i was as naked as those children.

there are some of the stories. the people who have changed my life.


Friday, May 25, 2012

{shift}

i lay in bed. close my eyes and try to hold on to the memories. i try and gasp what seems to be slipping away from me quicker than i had anticipated. i inhale and slowly listen to the air escape my lungs. it makes me think of the small child who had an expiratory wheeze that could be heard through my stethoscope pressed ever so gently against his chest.

it's only been 48 hours since i've been home and already i can feel the difference.

at times i feel like i am walking around unaware of what to do next. there is a list of thing to do but instead i find myself looking at the clock and thinking of what i would be doing in Haiti at that very time. or i flip through the pictures again on my camera.

the memories are slipping, slowly they will become a blur. but something else has changed. shifted.
something inside me longs not only for the memories, the people, the places, it longs for trust i had. it longs to experience more of what love really looks like. it longs to understand this shift in my understanding of who i am created to be. it longs to understand the shift that has occurred within me.

the memories will slip. become a blur. but they will always represent a change of heart. a piece of me.

i lay in bed. close my eyes and try to hold on to the memories. i try to grasp what this shift means and where it will take me. i inhale and slowly release my attempts to figure things out. i inhale again and release my control.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

{Haiti}


less than 24 hours. thats it. and i will no longer be in the U.S.

after almost a year ago committing to go on this trip i cannot believe that it is actually here.

my bags are all packed. my list for the roomies is finished. the school work is taken care of.

in 12 hours my flight will leave from Des Moines and i will be off to Port au Prince, Haiti for 10 days.

i cannot wait to go love on the haitian's! while there i get to have the opportunity to work in a clinic and use my medical background while furthering His kingdom. i have been toying with the idea for some time this year on how i am going to use my career in pharmacy and my heart for people and Jesus together. this trip is my opportunity to see the two passions of my life to come together.

i hope this trip shows me ways i can use both of these things for my future.

i am looking forward to meeting my team in the morning, since i have not met anyone besides my roommate. i am excited to find out where i am staying while in Haiti. i am excited to meet the people in the clinic and be able to help them with their needs.

mostly, i am excited to meet and love God's people in another country, and to see His love in the brokeness of one of the world's poorest countries.

so as a finish up my last minute packing and the little things left on my list i pray for safety for my trip. for relationships with my team and with the people i meet.  i pray for Jesus presence in all i do and over all the lives i encounter. i ask the holy spirit to show me where He is working everyday in everyway.

as i wake every morning while there i want this to be the song of my heart.



i am not sure about what kind of internet access i will have while there. but if possible i will update you all on the trip.

thank you all for the support, prayer, and love.

until next time.

many blessing!

courtney