{who is like God?}

i've been bless beyond belief. let me just start with that.

i have had so many influential important people in my life. people that have helped shape who i have become. without these people i literally do not know how i would function.

a handful of these people are the ones i call my other mothers. and yes i have multiple ones. but there is one in particular that this blog is about. there is one that has been placed on my heart. the one i'm meant to influence, to change her life.

this women means the world to me. she is someone i want to literally call 'mom' someday, and i want my children to call her 'grandma' or 'nona'. she never was able to become a mother herself but she has such a motherly heart and i want her to have what she couldn't. i want her to experience the things she didn't think she ever could.

i love this women and this is what scares me about my call on her life. i am afraid that i may screw up and somehow end up losing her all together. i would rather stay here on this comfortable level where i love her but at a distance, not to the point where i have to actually follow where i am being lead.

i'm scared to take a risk. not only am i called to tell this women about how much Jesus loves her but i really feel i am called to pray healing over her body from the sickness she has within her. as if telling her that Jesus loves her wasn't enough to scare me i now have to explain that He loves her so much He wants to heal her! she is going to think i'm crazy!

but what scares me the most is i'm more scared about what happens if i don't get over my own fear... what happens if i don't follow the call that has been placed on my heart?

the thing is i love this second mother so much that i shouldn't be worried about rejection or losing her i should care and worry about missing the opportunity to change her life, for her to really know Jesus. and when it comes down to it i do. but like so many of us human's it's simply the hardest to really love the ones we love. we are already emotionally attached and comfortable. we don't want to rock the boat or send crashing waves through a calm sea. we are afraid to step out of the comfort zone.

the title of this blog is {who is like God} because that is the meaning of her name... and really who is like God? it is so hard to be like him, He loves everyone and does not worry if people reject him. He loves them even if that means they won't love him in return. i think its suiting for her name to mean this. i'm called to be like God in her life... to love her enough for her to know the love of God, to not worry about rejection.

this is my struggle. learning to love someone you already love. to take the risks and the chances. it may be small steps here and there but to slowly learn to follow the call that has been place on my heart. to listen when the spirit leads me.

i know with all my heart i don't want to let this opportunity pass. i want to have the courage, strength and compassion to change this women's life.

i've been blessed beyond belief and i want her to know why. i want to love her so she can know and experience how much Jesus loves her as well. i want to be like God for her, an example of who He really is. i want to bravely take the chance and follow my calling.