{fill me up}

this may be a bit weird. but i'm going to blog about my new cup.

[yes, to you it may not look like much, but i seriously love this cup right now.]

i seem to go through phases, where i get a new cup or water bottle and i love them. you could even go to the extent that i become obsessed with using it. for example my new blue Drake Pharmacy and Health Science cup, i've only had the cup for about a day and since the moment it was washed it hasn't left my side. pathetic i know. before it was my via water bottle. there is something about these water bottles/cups that makes me enjoy drinking water. i think i've downed a good 8 cups full of water in the last 24hours. but the desire to use these water containers fades. eventually i wont drink as much water, the new excitement of using my cup or bottle will fade.

the love for my new water cup is much like my love for Jesus. it seems that whenever i have a new encounter or experience i am thirsty for more. my heart desires more. things seem to realign and life seems good. i want to run and find more of Him and His love in my life.

i fall in love with Jesus all over again just like i love a new cup. i want to be in his presence just like i want to use my cup all the time. overtime though my desire for more becomes less. my thirst dries up. my need for my cup is still there. much like my via water bottle, i have to have it with me in class or at work, but i don't desire to drink from it constantly. this is exactly how my relationship with Jesus is. i love Him with everything for a period of time, wanting more and more of His presence. but soon that love loses its strength. i still need Him like i need my water bottle to be around. He is still apart of me, always there. however, i seem to only use Him when i really need something. its just like how i use my water bottle -i fill it up every morning so i will have water when i need it throughout the day. i depend on Jesus like i depend on my water bottle. simply put it isn't right. i 'use' Him and thats not what this relationship is about. my love for Him should be unlike any other love i contain. i should love Him with everything all the time.

did you know that when you are thirsty it means you are already dehydrated?

i'm thirsty for more of Him after i have an encounter with Him because i am dehydrated. i don't ask to be filled up every day. i go on empty way too often. i carry Jesus around with me like my water bottle and not much more. i want to be thirsty always. this doesn't align with my medical brain to want to be thirsty and dehydrated always, but in the spiritual sense it make all the sense in the world. we should be thirsty daily because no matter what we have or experience there is always more. we can never be fully satisfied or saturated, and thats okay. thats the whole point. we get to experience more, an abundant amount more. we get pieces of the fullness of heaven here and now. we will never be completely full until the day we come face to face with our loving creator in heaven.

its when we settle with what we have, with our lives, and our relationships, that we lose our thirst for more. i don't know about you, but i don't want that anymore. i want to continue to be thirsty. i want to desire more and search for it. i want to wake up every morning and before i even hit the ground running from one thing to the next i want to asked to be filled up and be thirsty all day long at the same time. and at the end of the day i want to be satisfied yet ready for more the next day. i want a clear mind and eyes to see the newness of Jesus everyday. i want to experience Him daily so that He will be like my new cup every morning!

i want to be filled. filled to the rim. and then more so that i can overflow!