{beauty}

I find myself standing in front of the mirror. my worst enemy. critiquing every little bit of myself, down to the pores on my nose. I find just about every flaw any human being could possibly see when they look at me...

my love handles or muffin top, the way my chin sticks out, my flabs instead of abs, the small gap in my teeth from not wearing my retainer, how my cheeks look chubby when I smile...  

the list could go on forever.  This is where I stop. I stare at myself in my mirror, spending a couple moments really looking at the person staring back. am I really defined by all of those things I've just listed?

The answer is NO!

Sadly so many girls and women stand in the very same place I find myself standing in. We believe that we are defined by these minuscule flaws that we see when we look in the mirror or by what we think about ourselves. It consumes our thoughts, overpowering the beautiful features each and every one of us contains. These flaws become the sole things we see when we look in the mirror or how we envision ourselves.

We are constantly, consciously and subconsciously, viewing ourselves through the lenses of how we think people perceive us- and it is a filthy lens. The truth is that almost 99% of the time, the people whom we think see these things about us, notice none of them at all. It is time to strip away these lies, to start standing tall and clean off the film that holds us back from truly seeing the beautiful face, body and person that is looking back at you in the mirror, waiting to be loved, and authentically seen.

It makes my heart ache thinking about how so many of us walk around with all of these negative thoughts and perceptions attached to us like name tags as though they are who we are. It makes me sadder to see and hear young girls talk about their bodies is such a condescending way, comparing themselves to others or having them hear the snide, off-hand comments of others about them. Sadly these occurances continue even into adulthood and does not stop. Even in the work place, full of professionals, we continue to put others down; we continue to compare ourselves to the person next to us, wishing we could be more like them. We give compliments to other while internally judging ourselves against them.

This is how society has engrained each of us to see our beauty. It is who we are. how we define ourselves and strive for "better". But I beg for you to stop. To truly see and appreciate the beauty each one of you emulates. 

These are a few things I wish everyone of you, and every woman out there could hear & know:

1. You are perfect!

• No matter your shape, size, height, weight, color, etc you are PERFECT. You may be apple shaped, or pear shaped. You may have long legs or a short torso. You may be overweight according to your scale, or thick skinned. You may have brown hair, blonde hair, red, black or purple for that matter. You may have hazel eyes, blue eyes, brown, black or green. Your skin may be pale, brown, tan or black. It may even have freckles, blemishes or moles. But no matter which of these combinations you are, or not, you are perfect! You are beautiful!

2. Don't compare, embrace

• Stop comparing yourself to the person next to you, to that family member, celebrity or the person you used to be. Embrace who you are right now, today. That other person may look like they are perfect, that they have it all together and they have every thing going for them. They may have the perfect hair, perfect body, smile and style. Surprisingly though, most likely, they too look at you and others around them, wishing they too had things they don't possess. Stop putting others on a pedestal and looking up to them, we are all on the same playing field.

3. Be you

• As women we are soft, tender and malleable. We change to be "better". We work our tail ends off to be thinner, smarter, sexier, toner, prettier. We do not stop with the comparing of ourselves. we carry it around with us striving to try to be even a small percentage of that other person. We long to be accepted and let our fears and perceptions of ourselves hold us back. We hide our flaws behind make-up and clothing and emotions. because it is easier than to face them. We try to be someone else's "perfect". A great author once wrote "we carry perfectionism around as a shield to help us from being hurt but it is really stopping us from being seen." This is so sadly true! We work so hard to not be seen, or viewed in a way that covers the parts of us we wish to remain unseen. I believe make-up should be used to enhance our beauty, clothing should be worn to accentuate our best features and our emotions should reflect our true beauty from within. Accept your "flaws" and love them. Each one of us is unique, and sometimes those things about ourselves we dislike and try to escape from are actually what set us apart and make us beautiful individuals. 

4. Accept a compliment

• If there is anything I've learned through my struggles with loving myself it was the importance of truly accepting a compliment. This is a harder thing to do than you think. Yes, we may say "thank you" when someone tell us we look pretty, are beautiful, we have lovely eyes or they like our smile. But I'll put the truth out in the open, hit the problem on the nose, and say that most of us say these polite responses to the person while in our heads we roll our eyes or think to ourselves that "our smile slopes slightly, our hair is a mess, my outfit would look better if I could lose those 5 pounds or my smile may be pretty but you are all together beautiful".  Am I right? Start really listening to the words of encouragement and truth that others give you. Write them down if you have to. Repeat them in your head 100 times, if necessary. These are the things people see about you, the good things. these are the things that define you. Shocking, I know! So next time someone compliments you- accept it, please. embrace it. believe it.

5. Find the things you love about yourself

• My last piece of advice for all of you is to find the things you love about yourself. Write them on your mirror, put them on post-it notes. do something with them to remind yourself of them every time you look at yourself. Imagine what our self-esteem could be like if we focused on these things instead of focusing on the negatives. Make your list and remind yourself of those things next time you find yourself walking past a mirror, comparing yourself or worrying about what others may think when they see you.

I stand in front of the mirror. my worst enemy. But this time I don't list the negatives I see. Instead I smile and find the things I've learned to love about the person staring back at me. I urge you to do the same. to put down the microscope, magnifying glass and the binoculars that we use to focus in on the "flaws" we contain and look at the whole you- the perfect you that others see- the true you. Become comfortable in your skin and own the you today, not the you you wish you could be, have been or never will be. Believe that you are  the most beautiful you!

{intentionally living}

i'm going to start to live intentionally. it sounds like a huge undertaking but i feel like it is the right thing for me right now.

as i've been traveling and learning over this year of rotations i've realized i have been given so many amazing things. i continue to be blessed no matter where i go or with whom i meet. i have come to this decision to live intentionally not because i am not in the upmost way grateful for these things, but to give back- to share with others the joy, love, support, hospitality, encouragement and so many other things that i have been given.

i want my life and my future to not only be about myself, but about those around me, who have influenced me, dried my tears, lifted me up, made me laugh. i want to share these things with those people who have been vital parts of what defines who i am. but i do not want to stop with those people. i want who i am to give to all the people i encounter. i want my life to be lived for others. i want to find joy and fulfillment in sharing my joy. i want to overflow to those around me to be filled again.

i want to live intentionally, aware of those around me- opening my eyes to truly seeing them-  to see their needs, their worries, their doubts, fears & regrets. i want to see their pure beauty, but also who they long to be. i want to make people feel encouraged in who they are, praised even in their flaws, empowered and supported in their desires. i want the people around me to feel special, not lacking, and loved unconditionally.

i want my life to not only be about myself and my desires- thanking the Lord for the numerous blessing i have been given along the way- i want my life to be about the people in it. i want it to be about showing people what love looks like as i continue to learn this along my journey.

i do not want my praises to be the words i write or say at the end of my day any longer- i want them to be life-giving. i want my praises to be acts. giving what i have been given because it is too good not to be shared.

so, i intend to start giving- intentionally. sharing, praying and loving those who have done the same for me and those who may just be entering the scene. i intend to start to live with a purpose, to use my giving heart, to give to those who deserve it, to share with those that need it. to find ways to relinquish thanks for what i have been given and receive even more in abundance.

#intentionallyliving