{a reason to sing: all sons & daughters}

i need a reason to sing

i need to know that you're still holy

 the whole world in your hands.

i need a reason to sing.

if there be a victory

will you sing it over me now

your peace is the melody

will you sing it over me now

if there be a victory

will you sing it over me now

oh lord, your peace is the melody

will you sing it over me now.

i need a reason to sing

i need to know that you're still holy

 the WHOLE world in your hands.

{that is a reason to sing}

{-5 points...}

i sat here this afternoon fussing about loosing 5 participation points for missing a practice session for lab... something i signed up to do to get more practice. after forgetting about it yesterday in my crazy schedule i learned today i will be docked 5 points from my participation grade for not attending. at first i was upset... seriously a whole 5 points! however, in the grand scheme of things 5 points out of the 700+ i will have in that one class this semester are not going to kill me.

but i'm not writing to complain more about my lousy 5 points i will not be receiving at the end of the semester. i am writing because my reaction to the whole situation to me is simply disturbing.

this past week InterVarsity put on a week long program called jesus.justice.poverty. where we focused on human trafficking around the world. all week we had things to get our campus involved and informed on the current serious issue of human poverty and trafficking. we wanted to show campus how Jesus plays a role in poverty and how as Christians we care about issues that Jesus' cares about... like sex trafficking... crazy but true.

each day i learned something new. a crazy statistic about how many women and children are enslaved or how many children are forced into be a sex slave each minute. all week long i was blown away by the magnitude of how real this issue is and i was reminded of how EXTREMELY blessed i am. and then this afternoon happens when i lost 5 points. it's crazy how quickly you are sucked back into your own problems, your own life where the thought of poverty or human trafficking are not a concern. for a good 30 minutes this afternoon the only thing my brain was concerned about was how dumb it was that i lost 5 point... really courtney! i shouldn't be upset over 5 points. i should be upset over the 2 children that are sold into slavery every minute or the 100,000+ women and children in the U.S. that trafficked on average today... here in our own country in all 50 states!

my worrying and anger over my small issues is not the heart of God. it is this worlds hold on my life.

it is so easy to be drawn into the motions of everyday life. to get caught up in the small points of being a student but deep down i know i will not find satisfaction in these things. it isn't worth my time being upset over the 5 points here and there. these things do not anger Jesus. things like not loving the people around me as i should or caring for the things He cares for, those things anger Him. those are the things i should be upset about this afternoon.
i should be upset about the health issues my friend is facing and how strongly the devil has control over her body today, an issue that Jesus cares about that is right in front of me... NOT that i lost 5 points.

i know i cannot be perfect and getting upset over the little things in my life that in reality will not matter in the long run will continue but i want to try and not let these things rule my life the way they have. i want nothing more at this moment than for more of Jesus' heart! i want to be able to praise Him and thank Him for the blessings he has poured down on me. to take a stand against the things that anger Him or that he cares deeply for. i wish with an open heart that even in my weak moments when i let myself get consumed with my own life that i would be reminded of the greater picture.

so this afternoon i believe i deserved a -5 points. but not because i missed my practice but because i let something that is nothing become bigger than it should be.